Scott Valid On Conan The Cimmerian, Action Figs And Whatnot..
I love Conan. The Cimmerian, not The Barbarian. In other words, for those not in the Hyperborean know, I’m a fan of Robert E. Howard’s archetypal character from the pages of 1930s pulp fiction, not Arnold Schwarzenegger’s iconic character from the 1980’s silver screen.
I can relate to Howard’s Conan—brooding, angst ridden, nihilistic, self-taught, socially awkward, a loner—except in Conan’s case he solves his irritations and frustrations by smiting lesser foes. In my case, I just sit at the keyboard and cry.
Now, I don’t collect action figures, though I admire people who do. If I had more time, energy, and expendable income, I’d definitely collect action figures. And comic books. And vinyl records. But I don’t. If I did collect action figures though, a lot of them would be pro wrestlers and comic book characters. And Conan.
I can relate to Howard’s Conan—brooding, angst ridden, nihilistic, self-taught, socially awkward, a loner—except in Conan’s case he solves his irritations and frustrations by smiting lesser foes. In my case, I just sit at the keyboard and cry.
Now, I don’t collect action figures, though I admire people who do. If I had more time, energy, and expendable income, I’d definitely collect action figures. And comic books. And vinyl records. But I don’t. If I did collect action figures though, a lot of them would be pro wrestlers and comic book characters. And Conan.
Awhile back I noticed that McFarlane Toys had put out some great Conan figures, and one in particular caught my eye. In the original REH stories, Conan progresses over the course of his ‘career’ from the ranks of wandering cutpurse all the way to reluctant King of Aquilonia. Becoming king is, at first, all fine and good for Conan, but ultimately he finds it boring and feels constrained by the title, and the best McFarlane figure of the bunch—the aptly titled ‘King Conan of Aquilonia’—captures the bored, stewing king in all his glory.
Sitting on his throne, slumped down, his frowning head perched in his hand, his war helmet unused and gathering dust at his feet, this action figure is the epitome of the dreary Cimmerian wanderer, whose only hope in the wake of his glorious career is to live out a gloomy eternity in Crom’s grey realm. There is no reassuring Valhalla waiting for Conan in the next life, only more irritation and boredom. Poor guy.
Last Christmas, my wife wanted some suggestions for what my four year old daughter could get me as a present. I recommended they check out the ‘King Conan of Aquilonia’ action figure, just on the off chance it didn’t cost too much. Ends up they go for around one hundred bucks new and fifty bucks used. Figures. Grr. Nothing ahead but Crom’s grey realm indeed!
Comments